The prosecution: Monty
It seems illogical to have so many lights on in a small room. She turns them on, then leaves
Mona and I have lived together in house-shares since 2017, but in October 2023 we moved into our own place. In that time, I’ve noticed that Mona is a big fan of mood lighting and has an obsession with small lamps.
I didn’t grow up in a house where lamps were on. We had the main lighting on at all times, but Mona’s childhood home was different. I’ll come home and the house will be ablaze with at least three different lamps on in each room.
Mona tends to go into a room for a while, turn all the lamps on and then leave. Once, I walked into our bedroom to turn off the lights. Each time I left, Mona would turn them back on. We repeated this loop three times. Mona said she didn’t even know she was doing it.
I’m not particularly energy-conscious, but it seems really illogical to me to have a multitude of lamps on all at once in a small room. I say to Mona, “Can you not leave all the lights on?” And she says, “But I like it.”
At other times she will accept responsibility and say, “Sorry, yes it’s bad.” But it doesn’t mean she stops doing it. She says she will try not to keep doing it, but it still happens.
She also says that she wants to feel safe when I’m travelling with work, and having the lamps on is comforting. Sometimes I am gone for weeks at a time as I work in events, so I do get it. I would like Mona to feel safe, so I don’t mind the extra cost of putting the lamps on when I’m not here. We can pay more for the electricity if it makes her feel better, but there is still the environmental issue to consider.
In order to compromise, I would like Mona to think about whether we need all the lamps on when we’re in our home together. Surely me being there negates the need to turn all the lights on? But I know she likes putting the lamps on for mood and ambience, so I don’t think she will change.
The defence: Mona
I know it’s not energy-conscious to have all these lamps on, but I just love cosy mood lighting
I have 11 lamps in our house. There are three in the bedroom, but only one in our kitchen/dining area (I actually think we need more there). I like to have them all on at once.
I know it’s not very energy-conscious of me, but I just love soft mood lighting. I always had it growing up – God forbid the big light was ever on in my home. My mum is the same, she’s very particular about how her house feels. When I was younger, she would text me and say, “Can you get the candles lit for when I get back?” She wanted the mood set. My sister loves lamps as well, but not to the level I do.
The main reason I do it is because Monty is away for weeks at a time with his job. I get quite lonely without him, and having multiple lamps on makes the house feel more lived-in and cosy. We started living together nearly two years ago and Monty went freelance at the same time, so I realised I was going to be on my own a lot of the time. Sometimes I can get nervous living alone, and having the lights on makes me feel safer and more settled.
I’ll admit, I do keep the lamp habit up when Monty is at home too. The day he turned the lamps off three times, I couldn’t remember turning them back on. It’s a habit: I have lamp blindness.
I accept I do it too much, but it mainly stems from being on my own. I haven’t looked to see if our bills are higher when Monty is away – honestly, I don’t want to know. Some of my friends say my habit is a waste of money and not very climate-friendly, but I am very careful about that in every other area of my life.
During winter, I use the big light and the small lamps, which is bad, but when I’m alone I don’t have anyone to answer to. My favourite things in the world are candles, but it’s not safe to leave them lit all evening.
To compromise, I do agree that I should try to turn them off when Monty is at home. I’m probably not going to stop with the lamp habit entirely though.
The jury of Guardian readers
Should Mona turn out the lights?
You don’t need several lights on in a room you’re not in, nor a big light and small lamps simultaneously. Maybe check the energy consumption of three soft lamps v one big light, though!
Katharine, 60
Having all the lamps turned on in every room at all times is wasteful and unnecessary. Why not keep the lamps on only in the occupied room, and maybe the hallway, and if you change rooms, swap which lights are on?
Sara, 29
Monty mentions the environment, but modern LED lighting uses much less power than incandescent bulbs, so Mona’s little lamps need only consume a small amount of energy. In return, Mona is feeling safer and more comfortable at home. Leave those lights alone, Monty, and be grateful she’s given up the candles.
Peter, 72
Lamps are indeed splendid – they are much more charming than a big light, but it is wasteful to have them switched on in rooms that are not being used. When Mona is home on her own I understand she may have lamps on in a couple of rooms, but not all of them.
Rebecca, 46
You can’t put a price on a mood. Monty sounds like he is being a mood kill. Having the overhead light on with no lamps is an act of lighting terrorism. Team Mona!
Arnie, 65
Now you be the judge
In our online poll, tell us if you think Mona should turn out the lights?
The poll closes on Wednesday 20 August at 9am BST
Last week’s results
We asked if Xavier should use a co-working space so his partner can have the flat to herself.
51% of you said yes – Xavier is guilty
49% of you said no – Xavier is not guilty