There are worse days for a prime minister to be otherwise engaged at a Nato summit and miss his weekly midday clash with the leader of the opposition in the Commons. In fact, Keir Starmer will have been thrilled with the timing. OK, he may have to swallow his pride and indulge in the by now obligatory Sunbed God idolatry to which every Nato leader has now signed up. But at least he didn’t have to face the embarrassment of a 120-and-growing rebellion by his own backbenchers over the welfare bill. Weirdly, cutting benefits to people unable to wash themselves wasn’t the reason why many Labour MPs went into politics.
So, for the second week running, Starmer’s duties were transferred to the more than capable hands of Angela Rayner. Though she may feel that the prime minister must now owe her a favour or three given the circumstances. Ange might have known exactly what was coming at her but that didn’t mean she had to enjoy it, even if she could allow herself one of her favourite pleasures of taking the piss out of the Tories. Although it is a bit like stealing sweets from children given the current state of the Conservative party.
Starmer’s absence meant that Kemi Badenoch was also obliged to send out a deputy. This might be called sub-optimal for the Tory leader, because her replacements – even Chris Philp – invariably outperform her. Largely because they are at least capable of sticking to one subject and talking in full sentences. Though this is a low bar. Kemi did promise she would improve at PMQs week on week but I’m not sure she meant by not showing up. She says it best when she says nothing at all.
This week, following the unwritten rule of Anyone But Robert Jenrick, the shadow chancellor, Mel Stride, was given his chance at the dispatch box. This in itself was slightly problematic. Not because the Melster is a bit of a plodder at heart – no one would ever dream of asking him to multitask – but because having someone with a little insider knowledge is equivalent to shooting yourself in the foot.
Stride may not be aware of the irony of a former work and pensions secretary moaning about years of spiralling benefits bills, but everyone else in the chamber certainly was. It’s hard to take the Melster seriously at the best of times. Even more so when he’s trying to be serious and speak with the air of authority. Long before the end, he sounded like someone who was merely going through the motions and knew he was unlikely to get another call-up any time soon.
Then again, Angela didn’t sound as if her heart was totally in it, either. She’s professional enough to parrot the party line more or less convincingly, but the Ange of a few years ago would have been one of the first to man the barricades against the welfare bill. We weren’t quite in gritted teeth territory, but not far off. Still, things could have been worse. She could have been the work and pensions secretary. Liz Kendall looked the picture of misery as she sat silently on the Labour frontbench. Lost in a private hell. Occasionally looking anxiously at her phone. Presumably checking to see if her shrink had replied to her WhatsApp for an urgent appointment.
The resulting session was all a bit under-powered. Anaemic. Two deputies who would rather have been elsewhere going through the motions. The Melster tried to stick to his questions. Why was the government rushing through with the bill, when the Tories would have cut the welfare budget by far more? Uh, hello? Wasn’t this the same Mel who was in charge when the welfare budget rose to record levels? Mel shook his head. He was certain it had been another Mel who had done that. The thought of there being two Melsters running around in ever-decreasing circles in Westminster would be one of Dante’s nightmares.
Rayner just held the line. The welfare reforms were necessary. The second reading would go ahead next Tuesday. She said that because she could hardly say otherwise. But no one took her seriously. The chances of the government not pulling the bill if it’s odds on it will lose are nil. Better to lose face than to risk totally undermining the prime minister’s authority. But no need to rush into things. Leave it as late as possible to minimise the damage. If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well it were done as late as possible. Still, the good news for Ange was that no Labour backbenchers had it in for her over welfare. Why shoot the messenger?
Over in The Hague, Keir looked totally knackered as he gave his end-of-Nato press conference. The past year has not been kind to him. He has aged a decade in just 12 months. His eyes have deadened and he appears not to have had a good night’s sleep in weeks. Power commands its price and Starmer was paying for it as he tried to talk up the summit. His role in it. That it was totally normal for Donald Trump to have come into it questioning article 5 and accusing the Pentagon of fake news for suggesting the American bombing raid may have set back the Iranian nuclear programme by only a few months.
For Keir there was only unfriendly fire from the British media. Was he concerned that there was no mention of Russia in the final communique? Was this an Agent Orange thing? Not at all, Keir said. Just an oversight. Nato was more committed to Ukraine than ever. It was the dialectics at work. The less they said about Russia, the more serious they were.
The rest of the questions were on the welfare bill. Nato was so last week. What was he going to do? Was he effectively on the way out already? Was his authority shot? No. But he was. Out on his feet. Keir could do with a few days off. A chance to regather his thoughts. But he wasn’t going to get it. Not till August. For now the show must go on. Tuesday could look after itself.